“I can’t believe I’m about to trust a Time Pirate!” says Dipper as he tosses the weapon to Davy Time-Jones.

He catches it in his meaty hands, smirks, and points it at Dipper!

Dipper sighs. “It figures,” he says, shielding Mabel and Blendin.

Davy Time-Jones fires and—

BOOOOOOOOOSHHHHH!

—there’s a flash of light.

The three clench their eyes shut and cringe. Then…the cry of a baby fills the air.

Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin open their eyes and spin around. There on the ground behind them is a human baby in a pile of prison guard clothes.

“What happened?” asks Dipper.

“That guard was sneaking up on you, so I hit him with this reverse chrono-blaster,” says Davy Time-Jones. “It reverses the age of any molecules!” He points it at a nearby bowl of fruit and shoots it.

Mabel looks inside. “Yup, they’re all seeds now!” she says. “Neato!”

“Thanks, man,” says Dipper.

Davy grins and tosses Dipper the cord. “Clock Kings for life.”

Davy points the chrono-blaster at the glass door and fires, turning the glass into a pile of sand. He steps over it as the others swing across the chasm.

Inside the Guard Transport Station, Davy Time-Jones programs the teleporter. “I need to make sure it teleports us to a discreet location,” he says. “We wouldn’t wanna teleport into the middle of police headquarters! Hop on in and hold your breath. This is gonna be intense!”

“Man, this escape is so cool!” squeals Blendin, grabbing Davy’s shoulders.

“Don’t make this weird,” says Davy.

Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin spot their laser blasters and clothing and snatch them up just as guards breach the door to the Guard Transport Station, opening fire.

The whole gang piles into the teleportation tube and Davy punches a button. There’s a flash of light, and they all warp through quantum space. In another flash, with their lungs on the brink of bursting, they land on orange desert sand seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

Davy Time-Jones jumps up and down. “WOOOOOOO! We did it!” he says. “Can you believe it? We did it!” He gives Dipper a forceful high five that knocks Dipper to the ground.

They all bury their uniforms in the sand and prepare to go their separate ways.

Davy Time-Jones looks at the twins. “You guys really helped me out back there,” he says. “It was a pleasure prison-breaking with you. I want to give you both honorary pirate hats.” He hands each of them a pirate hat shoddily made from prison rags.

“I-is there one for me?” stammers Blendin.

Davy ignores him. “If there’s anything else I can do for you kids, just let me know,” he says.

Dipper and Mabel share a glance. “Actually, there is something,” says Dipper. “We’re looking for a key….”

“A Time Key,” says Mabel, unfurling Blendin’s map and pointing to the illustration of the key. “Do you know anything about it?”

Davy Time-Jones smiles. “Of course I do!” he says. “The key you seek is—”

“FREEEZE!” yells Lolph, one of the Time Anomaly Enforcement Agents.

The gang spins around and they see that they are surrounded by cops.

“We’ve been had!” yells Davy Time-Jones.

One of the cops, Dundgren, points at Blendin. “Hey, look, it’s that sweaty cop Blendin Blandin,” he says. “He and the kids must be here working undercover! Come over here on this side of the law.” He beckons Blendin and the twins to join him and the rest of the cops.

Blendin and Mabel start to walk toward them, but Dipper is frozen in place.

Davy Time-Jones stares at them all. “Dipper…you’re…you’re law enforcement?” he says. “You’re not a Clock King after all?” He flips up his eye patch.

“Uhhhhh,” says Dipper, looking from Davy Time-Jones to the cops. He looks into Davy Time-Jones’s clock eye and watches a time tear fall from it. Dipper looks to Mabel and Blendin, who are urging him to join the police with them. Dipper bites his lip.

“Say it ain’t so, Dipper! Help me thwart these cops!” says Davy Time-Jones.

The cops eye Dipper, crossing their arms.

“Well, whose side are you on, boy?” asks Lolph.

LET THE COPS TAKE DAVY AWAY: GO HERE JOIN DAVY AND FIGHT THE COPS: GO HERE