Hello there, dear reader!

What you hold in your hands is not an ordinary book. This book is an adventure, one in which every decision is made by you! Or by your pushy friend, if he or she happens to be reading over your shoulder. I hate when people do that. I’m talking to you, Steve.

Our characters have a perilous journey ahead, and it’s up to you to make the right calls to send them to a happy ending or to a horrifying fate. If you do end up casting Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin into a wormhole, don’t feel too bad. You can always use a form of time travel known as “flipping back through pages” to try again. With enough good sense and luck, you may find the coveted Time Pirates’ Treasure! For your sake, I hope you do, because the friend reading over your shoulder will probably make fun of you if you fail. Steve is such a jerk sometimes. Thinks he’s better than me just because his dad owns a yacht. Good luck making the right choices…if you dare!

Sincerely,

Omniscient Nameless Narrator