“Well, I guess we should sneak up on the dragon from the back,” says Blendin, shrugging. “If living with my mom has taught me anything, it’s that you always want to sneak in the house through the back entrance to avoid getting yelled at!”

“These cliffs can’t possibly be as scary as your weird home life!” says Mabel, beaming. “Let’s go!”

Wind whipping through their hair, the group begins to scale the narrow, winding cliff side path, pressing their backs against the cold granite. They find the path is getting narrower and narrower, until it’s only a few inches wide. Blendin makes the mistake of looking down and yelps when he sees they’re a thousand feet in the air.

“See, this isn’t so bad,” says Mabel as she digs her nails into the stone wall. “We just have to make this experience into a fun game! Let’s play I Spy!”

“Maybe we should focus on this climb,” says Dipper.

“I spy something wooden and flutelike and falling away from me very fast,” says Mabel.

“Is it the dragon flute?” asks Dipper.

“You bet it is!” says Mabel, grinning.

Dipper and Blendin groan.

“Great,” says Dipper. “Now we’re defenseless against the dragon!”

“We have three swords!” exclaims Mabel, thrusting her sword into the air. It slips from her hand and falls. “Two swords! I spy with my little eye something stabby and moving fast….”

Dipper and Blendin groan again.

Within the hour, the gang has successfully looped around to the other side of the mountain, and they enter the cave. The walls are covered in ancient runes, and human skeletons and suits of armor line the dark, dusty corridors.

“Oh, man, I’m getting really creeped out by these skeletons, guys,” says Blendin. “I’ve had a fear of skeletons ever since I got an X-ray and realized there’s one hiding inside me at all times.”

“Shhhh,” says Dipper, cupping a hand to his ear. “What’s that?”

A sound echoes through the cave.

“It sounds like…sobbing?” he says.

They round a corner and stop on the precipice overlooking a vast cavern. The cavern has an immense pile of gold in the middle. Resting on top, sprawled out and as large as a school bus, is a red dragon. The dragon appears to be sobbing. He blows his nose on the tattered tunic of a knight’s skeleton.

Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin look at each other.

Suddenly, the dragon turns to face them. “WHAT? WHO DARES DISTURB MY PRIVATE SOBBING TIME!” he yells in a booming Scottish accent. “YOU SHOULD GO!” He blows a ball of fire as a warning.

Dipper draws his sword. “This is it, guys! Get ready!” he yells. “We’ll slay him for treasure and then dissect him for science!”

“Can we not dissect him?” shrieks Blendin. “What if he’s got a skeleton inside?”

“Wait a minute, guys,” says Mabel. “This dude’s obviously going through some emotional biz right now. Maybe he just needs to talk it out. I’m a great negotiator! Remember that time I talked Grunkle Stan into wearing mascara for a whole day?”

“I don’t know!” says Dipper. “Dragons are famously uncooperative!”

“If he’s anything like my mom, he’ll just throw candies at us!” shrieks Blendin. “Hard candies!”

“What should we do?” asks Dipper.

TALK TO THE DRAGON: GO HERE BATTLE THE DRAGON: GO HERE