“Well, I guess we’re going with confronting the dragon with the flute,” says Blendin, shrugging.

“Perfect!” says Dipper, puffing out his chest like a knight. “Let’s become legends or die trying.”

“Yay! Death!” says Mabel.

They creep into the cavern, with Dipper leading the way with his torch.

Every crunch of human bones beneath their feet echoes off the craggy walls.

The dragon’s breathing grows louder.

They round a corner.

There in front of them lies a winged, red-scaled dragon so massive its horns graze the top of the cave. The dragon slumbers atop a massive pile of treasure, which glints in the torchlight.

“Whoa, look at all this treasure!” says Blendin, running his fingers through it. “Forget the Time Pirates! We could grab this loot and live like kings!” He picks up a crown and puts it on his head. “Look at me, Mom! Who’s unemployed and lacking confidence now?”

“Shhh,” whispers Dipper. “You’ll wake the dragon.”

“You sound just like her!” says Blendin. “‘Take out the time trash, Blendin! Stop using your stepdad’s time deodorant, Blendin!’ Well, this time, I’m in charge!” Blendin grabs an armful of gold coins. Under their weight, he tips over and lands with a THUD on his back. “Help!” he shrieks. “This armor is too heavy! I can’t move!”

“Aw, he’s like an upside-down turtle,” says Mabel. “Look at his wiggling legs. Wiggle-wiggle!”

The dragon awakens with a start. “WHO GOES THERE?” he bellows in a booming Scottish accent, stretching out his long neck. “YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN THE LAIR OF CONNERHEART THE DRAGON! YOU MUST GO!”

“Hurry!” yells Dipper. “Play the song, Mabel!”

Mabel blows into the dragon flute and plays the instrumental bridge from the Sev’ral Timez hit single “Cray-Cray.”

“WHAT? WHAT IS THIS POPPY, MAINSTREAM THREE-CHORD TRASH?” the dragon fumes. “YOU THINK YOU CAN LURE ME TO SLEEP WITH THAT?”

“Mabel! Play something else!” shrieks Dipper.

“It’s all I know!” says Mabel.

The dragon rubs his eyes, picks up a large bottle of neon blue mouthwash, swigs some and swishes it around a few times in his mouth, and then blows an enormous ball of flame.

WHOOOSH!

Well, it was worth a shot.

THE END.