Dipper reactivates the laser blaster and puts his finger on the trigger.

Mabel sighs. “Dipper, wait! What are we gonna do, spend the rest of our lives as outlaws?” she asks.

Dipper scratches his chin. “I’m open to it,” he says. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to whittle.”

Mabel shakes her head. “We should turn ourselves in. It’s the right thing to do,” she says. “Also, riding a horse hurts my butt.”

“Aw, all right,” says Dipper. He powers down the blaster.

With heavy sighs, Dipper and Mabel put up their hands and walk outside.

The sheriff and his crew pounce and cuff the twins, taking Dipper’s laser blaster.

“Well, hooooey! Looks like we caught ourselves a pair of regular old bandits,” says the sheriff while dancing a jig and slapping his spurs. “You two have caused a lot of problems. Looks like y’all are gonna be in jail for a looooong time. Throw ’em in the wagon!”

The lawmen throw them in the back of a stagecoach and drive it toward town.

Dipper and Mabel shimmy toward the front, where the sheriff sits and whittles casually.

“So, uh, Mr. Sheriff, what’s the punishment for what we did?” asks Mabel.

“Train-nappin’?” he asks. “Well, if it were up to me, I’d make y’all dress up like little trains and walk through town, and when someone tried to rob you, I wouldn’t stop them. See how you like it. But I’m a touch odd in the head, so they don’t let me choose punishments no more.”

“Well, who does decide the punishments?” asks Dipper.

“Judge Hangamanforanycrime,” says the sheriff. “And I warn you, he lives up to his name. He is indeed an actual judge.”

Dipper and Mabel tremble.

“He’s only let a criminal off once,” says the sheriff, “and it was on account of him being a child!”

“But we’re children!” shouts Dipper.

“What, you two bloodthirsty ne’er-do-wells?” The sheriff laughs. “You’re clearly adults who are just short on account of the malnutrition that’s so popular in these times.”

“It’s true!” yells Mabel. “Look long and hard at my brother here!”

The sheriff squints at Dipper. “Well, I’ll be hoodwinked. You are children! Hmmmm…” He pulls out a key and unlocks them. “I reckon the townsfolk of Calamity Junction wouldn’t get much satisfaction out of usin’ capital punishment on children. How about we let this go and, say, give you a second chance?”

“Really? Is there a catch?” asks Dipper.

“The catch is do it before I change my mind!” says the sheriff.

Dipper and Mabel spring to their feet.

“Thank you so much, and we are soooo sorry,” says Dipper.

“Seriously, so, so sorry!” says Mabel, dusting herself off.

“And take this weird shiny spoon back!” shouts the sheriff, tossing Dipper his laser blaster.

The twins race the short distance into town and stop inside the general store.

“Well, now that we’ve got out of that all right, what should we do next?” asks Mabel.

Blendin stumbles into the store, dusting off his pants and grumbling. “Well, I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do, and that’s try to seduce a wealthy businessman out of his riches. The moment my wig fell off he kicked me out of a moving train! These bruises will heal fine, but my pride…” He stares off into the distance.

“I’m just gonna try to forget I heard all that,” says Dipper. “Looks like we should explore one of those other options if we’re ever going to find this key.”

“All right, we’re going to need to look the part again,” says Blendin.

Dipper returns the laser blaster to Blendin and throws on a cowboy hat and boots. Mabel and Blendin follow suit.

In their new disguises, they step outside.

CONFRONT THE OUTLAWS IN THE SALOON: GO HERE EMBARK ON A MINING ADVENTURE: GO HERE