“Mabel,” says Dipper, “let’s be sensible and call it quits.”

Mabel nods.

“B-but—but—but—” stammers Blendin.

Mabel swats the time tape out of his hand.

Blendin sulks.

“So how do we get this all home?” asks Mabel.

“Well, I brought a few infinite sacks.” Blendin produces what look like shiny silver trash bags. “These sacks exploit a loophole in space-time to give you infinite room!”

The twins and Blendin divide the treasure into equal thirds and fill up their sacks. They throw them over their shoulders and climb up through the time door, back into the time stream. Blendin navigates them to a spot that will drop them back in their own time.

“Thanks for the riches, Blendin!” says Mabel.

“Aw, shucks, you guys,” says Blendin. “Finding this treasure is going to turn my life around once and for all. Thank you!” He pulls out his time phone, dials a number, and waits for someone to pick up. “Hello? Hello! Yes, Mother, it’s me. And I have a little announcement to make. I’m moving out!” He clicks his heels. “Also, I’m never going to call my stepdad. So there!” Blendin grins from ear to ear as he hangs up the phone. Dipper and Mabel give him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Unexpectedly, Blendin hugs the twins. He gets self-conscious and quickly steps back. “Sorry, guys. I guess it’s just, in one thousand time lines, this is the only one where I’ve ever made…a friend.”

“BOO!” says Dipper. Mabel elbows him in the gut.

“Anytime, Blar-Blar,” says Mabel, smiling. “Anytime.”

It’s twilight in Gravity Falls. Fireflies are coming out and the nighttime air is humming as Dipper and Mabel drag their sacks of treasure home.

“Man, this sure is getting heavy,” says Mabel, sweating.

“Can’t stop…Almost home…Almost rich,” says Dipper.

Mabel pauses and leans against her treasure sack. “You know, Dipper, I’ve been thinking. If one little choice like which sweater to wear could get us infinite treasure, what kind of impact is having infinite treasure gonna have on our lives?”

Dipper wipes his brow. “Man, a lot of people are gonna want a piece of this. And there’s probably going to be taxes to be paid and investment decisions to be made. Grunkle Stan’s going to want a cut. We’ll have to decide whether to give him some. Oof, it’s like the richer we are, the more choices we have to make.”

“Maybe it’s just me,” says Mabel, “but after spending a whole day choosing and choosing, I could honestly go for never making another choice again.”

“Wanna bury these in the woods and forget about the whole thing for now?” asks Dipper.

“Absolutely,” says Mabel.

So Dipper and Mabel dig a hole, bury their sacks of treasure, and dust off their hands. It’s not a total loss, though. Dipper keeps one gold coin, because one coin has the power, when flipped, to make a decision for them, and they won’t have to stress about making choices ever again.

“Wanna go watch the new episode of Duck-tective?” asks Mabel, checking her watch.

Dipper flips the coin and smiles. “Absolutely. We’re right on time.”

Laughing, they run back to the Mystery Shack for…

THE ONE TRUE END.

Congratulations, dear reader. You’ve chosen wisely. But did you find a secret…?