“We’re here for the game!” says Dipper.

Wild Eyes Joe leans closer to him and stares him square in the face. “Well…” he says, “why didn’t you say so?” He laughs, letting go of Dipper’s collar. “We love new players…because they always lose! Here, pull up a chair and ante up! We’ll deal you in!”

Mabel and Blendin sigh in relief.

Dipper wipes the sweat from his brow. That was close, he thinks. “So what are we playing?” he asks. “Hold’em? Five-card stud? Aces high jackknife?”

Wild Eyes Joe laughs. “Ha-ha, will you listen to this kid?” he says. “Son, we don’t play those childish games. There’s only one game here serious enough for bloodthirsty desperadoes like us. It’s called…GO FISH.”

“I’ve never played that one before! But I think I could get the hang of it,” says Dipper, winking at Mabel and Blendin.

The outlaws scoff at Dipper and deal him in. They elbow each other, cackling.

An hour later, their smiles have all soured, because Dipper has won almost all their money.

Dipper rakes in the pile with a sheepish grin. “Beginner’s luck, I guess!” he says. I won’t mention the hours and hours me and Mabel spent practicing go fish on the bus ride up to Gravity Falls, he thinks.

“Son, what’d you say your name was again?” asks Wild Eyes Joe through gritted teeth.

“Uh…Dipper,” he says.

“Dipper, huh. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of no outlaw named Dipper,” says Wild Eyes Joe. “Mighty suspicious you’ve come around here, Dipper.”

Dipper gulps. “That’s, uh, pretty intimidating how you keep repeating my name like that.” He feels everyone’s eyes hone in on him.

The saloon gets quiet.

He, Mabel, and Blendin gulp.

Wild Eyes Joe stands up and walks over to Dipper. “You sure you’ve never played this before?”

“I mean, I think. Once or twice. Probably. Maybe?” Dipper says.

Wild Eyes Joe gives his friends a look. “Boys, I think we got a hustler at the table,” he says.

They all stand up.

Wild Eyes Joe clamps a hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “There’s only two ways we settle situations like this, son. One’s a shoot-out, and the other’s a shoot-out. It’s technically only one option, but I say it that way ’cause I think it sounds dramatic-like. So how about we go outside and settle this?”

Dipper turns and sees two outlaws restrain Mabel and Blendin by their arms.

The outlaws’ gold teeth glint in the dusty light as they stare Dipper down.

Dipper feels in his pocket for something. Anything. He finds his flashlight. Maybe I could use the flashlight to distract them, he thinks.

What should Dipper do?

AGREE TO THE SHOOT-OUT WITH WILD EYES JOE: GO HERE DISTRACT THE OUTLAWS AND RUN: GO HERE