“We’re affiliated with the Clock Kings!” says Dipper.

Davy Time-Jones stares at him. “BROTHER!” he yells. He embraces both Blendin and the twins with one of his enormous arms. “We could always use more Clock Kings. You’re gonna be thrilled to see this.” He lifts up his eye patch to reveal he has a clock for an eye, and it’s engraved with the words CLOCK KINGS 4 LYF.

“Oooh, that’s nice,” says Blendin.

“Shiny!” says Mabel.

“What purpose could that possibly serve?” asks Dipper.

Mabel elbows him in the gut.

“I was worried I was gonna have to take y’all down,” says Davy Time-Jones, “but now that I know I can trust y’all with my life, what say you help me give these Time Dukes what for?” He throws a fist in the air. “IT’S TIME FOR THE FOOD FIGHT OF OUR LIVES!”

Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin shrug, then follow him into battle. They grab whatever food they can find and start flinging it at the Time Dukes. Fellow Clock Kings rush to help them out. One even dives and takes a face full of mustard for Mabel.

“Wow,” says Mabel. “Who knew you could get so much friendship mileage out of pretending to like the same things as someone?”

With the help of the twins and Blendin, Davy Time-Jones beats back the Time Dukes in a stunning victory before the prison guards break up the riot. One of the guards shoots a Time Duke with a reverse-aging chrono-blaster, transforming him into a baby before their very eyes. The Clock Kings laugh and high-five.

Davy Time-Jones beams at Dipper, Mabel, and Blendin. “Brothers, I am mighty impressed with your food-rioting skills,” he says. “What are your names?”

“I’m Dipper Pines and this is my twin sister, Mabel,” says Dipper. “And this is Blar-Blar. I mean, Blendin.”

“Nice to meet you three!” says Davy Time-Jones. “I think you’d make fine accomplices to a little project me and our fellow Clock Kings are working on.” He leans toward them. “At midnight, make sure you’re packed and ready to go,” he whispers before heading off to his cell.

Mabel turns to Blendin. “Uh, what was that all about?” she asks.

“Don’t you see?” whispers Blendin. “He and his boys are staging a prison breakout, and they’ve invited us to participate!” He grins. “This is the first time I’ve been invited to participate in anything!”

A guard locks the twins and Blendin in their cell.

“We’ve earned his trust now!” Blendin whispers. “We’re basically almost Time Pirates ourselves!”

“And hopefully if we help him break out, he’ll tell us about the Time Key!” says Dipper.

The three high-five and then rest up before the big break.

At midnight, the cellblock is silent.

A guard whistles and drags his nightstick-saber along the glowing cell bars.

The twins and Blendin sit awake, holding their breath.

“What’s keeping these guys?” whispers Mabel.

They hear the sounds of a scuffle, and they see the guard unholster his chrono-blaster and peer down a hallway. Suddenly, an enormous tongue lashes out of nowhere and snatches him. The twins only hear his scream, followed by the crunch of his bones. A moment later, Davy Time-Jones and the anthropomorphic chameleon stroll up with the guard’s keys and open their cell.

“Brothers, this is Chamillacles,” says Davy Time-Jones, introducing the chameleon. “He’s great at blending in, as well as shedding his skin, which is really gross, so you should just ignore that. He only speaks Gleep-Glorp, though, so anything you want to say to him, I’ll have to translate. Anyway, let’s go, Clock Kings! I’ve got a getaway car waiting!”

The twins and Blendin rush out of the cell, but just as they do, they notice the guard has managed to crawl toward the door and reach for the alarm button.

Chamillacles swats the guard’s hand away with his long tongue, but it’s too late.

RRRRRRRR! RRRRRRRR! RRRRRRRR!

The alarm screeches, and the entire prison is bathed in red flashing lights.

Through a window, the gang spots a space cruiser speeding away from the building.

“Our getaway car!” yells Davy Time-Jones. “It’s getting away! What do we do now?”

A guard charges at them, but Chamillacles catches him with a quick lash of the tongue. He propels the guard into Davy Time-Jones’s fist.

BLAM!

Three more guards run in and draw their lasers.

Davy and Chamillacles bash the guards’ heads together, knocking them out cold.

Dipper looks at the unconscious guards. “Guys!” he says. “What if we take their uniforms and pretend we’re guards? I’ve seen that work out in a lot of movies!”

“The guards have a teleportation system on and off the prison. We could just use that!” says Davy Time-Jones.

Mabel, who’s swiped a map off one of the guard’s waists, points out a nearby room labeled ESCAPE SHIPS. “Or,” she says, “what if we steal one of those bad boys and fly it back to Earth?”

“I’d like to say, I’m just happy to be participating!” yells Blendin.

Everyone ignores him.

Davy Time-Jones looks to the twins. “What do you think we should do, brothers? CLOCK KINGS FOR LIFE!”

DRESS UP AS GUARDS TO ESCAPE: GO HERE STEAL A SPACESHIP: GO HERE